``When the roles of husband and wife are reversed, so that the wife becomes leader and the husband follower,'' Dr. Linden says, ``the effects on their whole relationship, sexual and otherwise, can be disastrous.''

In one extreme case, cited by a Pittsburgh psychologist, an office worker's wife refused to have sexual relations with her husband unless he bought her the luxuries she demanded. To win her favors, her husband first took an additional job, then desperately began to embezzle from his employer. Caught at last, he was sentenced to prison. While he was in custody his wife divorced him.

More typical is the case of a suburban Long Island housewife described by a marriage counselor. This woman repeatedly complained she was ``too tired'' for marital relations. To please her, her husband assumed some of the domestic chores. Finally, he was cooking, washing dishes, bathing the children, and even ironing -- and still his wife refused to have relations as often as he desired them.

One wife, described by a New York psychologist, so dominated her husband that she actually placed their sexual relationship on a schedule, writing it down right between the weekly PTA meetings and the Thursday night neighborhood card parties. Another put sex on a dollars and cents basis. After every money argument, she rebuffed her husband's overtures until the matter was settled in her favor.

Experts say the partners in marriages like these can almost be typed.